Certain weeks make me more aware that being a seminarian is tough. I am not saying by any means that it isn't worth it, actually it's quite the contrary. When we are able to attain the mindset and awareness of joy and grace which come from our trials and challenges, we are able to truly assess the value and treasures which are to be found in following God's will. This is especially important when I have a week like last week. When your mind is flooded with the challenges surrounding you it is especially difficult to focus on anything other than yourself and what you you're facing. I do however believe that the challenges which we face are those which allow us to really know what it is that we want and more importantly what God wants of us. Sometimes we make decisions based on what we don't want to happen, however I think there is great dysfunction in that scenario. I say this because decision is reliant upon what is desired of us... not based upon what we wish to avoid. Holding greater significance than our wants and desires is the will of God which is ultimately what we should choose. The art of discernment, which cannot be summed up in a few words, is an art which must be cultivated and fostered in order to avoid fulfilling our own agenda rather than following God's will.
As God brushes a stroke on the canvas of our lives, at times it is difficult to comprehend how providence lies within this guiding hand. However, when we feel trapped by our surroundings, it is profoundly difficult to see beyond the bars of limitation which constrain us.
If we took a snapshot of our life at any given time of struggle, we will realize that there is a clear and distinct focal point in that picture. If we are able to refocus to infinity on this moment... the "bokeh", or blur diminishes and clarity can be achieved. Sometimes we love the blur and mystery which provides a unique view of the world around us, but we cannot always approach life with such a nebulous view; while this view is beautiful and abstract at times, it skews our ability to assess what we should be looking at.
Basically what I'm saying is, within this cloak of metaphoric artistic language is this... Stop for a moment. Realize that what you're facing may not be trouble, but rather a learning experience. You may realize that what you're struggling with may be exactly what you need to understand your humanity more fully and to focus upon what God asks of you. This lesson is what provides us with the tools to carry out His will.
Our darkest days are when we walk away from the Light. When we follow the Light, the road becomes more clear and the path we are walking will seem far less daunting than we originally perceived. As the trepidation subsides, we realize that the guiding hand of the Father provides us with a direction yielding light as well as the Gifts of the Holy Spirit... we must be still and be know that we're being guided. If we fail do this, every day will be absent of the Light.
